So my parents got married at the delicate age of 18, all my aunts and uncles were also married in their fairly early twenties. So growing up I would always say that I need to be married by 23 and have all my kids before the age of 30…let me just take this time to say, HAHAHAHAHAHA! YEA RIGHT GIRL!

I literally believed this NEEDED to happen until I turned 21 and woke the heck up to the reality that this fantasy is not my reality.

Growing up as a young Christian woman you would often hear things like you need to pray for your husband in detail. Tell God what you want and He will give you the desires of your heart. So this is what I did, I got my journal and wrote out a five-page entry on all the things I wanted in my husband and constantly asked God if could I add at least one thing every day! lol

Long story not so short, I have been in a relationship for one year now. He is such a great guy! He is so smart, gives great advice, I can talk to him about anything, he respects me, his relationship with God is growing, I love his family, he has a great job, his own condo, a nice car and gets me anything I need if he is able to! But because I was so obsessed with “the one” and “my list” I tried to squeeze him into this cookie cutter box that I carved out. I began nagging him on all the things that irritated me, I started judging his lifestyle, asking annoying questions I knew the answer to, trying to make him into the man I wanted and not the man God wanted for me.

man I was annoying…

One day I was talking to a wise lady who I love and who also goes to my church. I was just telling her that I was so unsure about him and that he does this, and how he does that… she let me go on for about 5 minutes before she asked me one thing that changed my views on not only my relationship but how I view my faith walk all together. She asked me, “Now what makes you think God is going to leave you hanging?!” I sat there looking looking crazy! She began to tell me that God is not going to save His best for everyone but me but He is saving his best especially FOR ME. God knows the desires of my heart and the fact that I was stressing out was normal, but not necessary.

From that point on I have calmed down, If this is God’s best for me then I don’t have to put my hands in it. I don’t have to try to fix things to fit in my little box. Why would I pray everyday for God’s best for me if I am just going to look for what was best for Yellie?…crazy right?

So where is my relationship now? Honestly its never been better. Instead of nagging him, I prayed to God as well as talking to Mike about the things that bothered me and even told him about the talk I had. He told me things that he would work on and even asked me if I could work on a few things.(Like what? yea I said the same thing! 😉 ) Me and Mike are not married, or engaged (yet.. o_o) but one thing I pray is that God will not only send me my best, but His best for Mike, and I can only hope that His best is me.

So If you are confused about your relationship, hate your job or having financial troubles….just know that God is not going to leave you hanging. Easier said than done obviously but you have to continue to trust Him and his plans for you, I can’t see the future of my relationship but I am going to trust that His plans for me are so much more than what I see.

Now go and get that back rub from God, I know you’ve been needing it.

For I know the plans I have for you. Jeremiah 29:11 =)